Wednesday, September 28, 2011

First Issue Special? Bill Ranks DC's 52 #1s

For laughs, I decided to read all 52 new superhero #1s from DC Comics. I survived to tell the tale. Let's break 'em down, then, and count down from the best the new crop of series has to offer, to the comics that would have been better off remaining in tree form. To be as scientifically accurate as possible, we will rate them on the 5-star quantitative Morrissey/Marr scale, with no editorial commentary whatsoever.

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out
(5 out of 5 stars):


Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
(4.5 stars):

Atomic Robo and the Ghost of Station X (Oops, wait, that's not DC.)

A Rush and a Push and the Land Is Ours (4 stars):

1. Static Shock
2. All Star Western

This Charming Man (3.5 stars):

3. Swamp Thing
4. Action Comics

5. Frankenstein: Agent of SHADE
6. Demon Knights
Birds of Prey
8. Batman
9. Animal Man
10. Batwoman

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want (3 stars):

11. Justice League Dark
12. Men of War
13. Deathstroke
14. Wonder Woman
15. Aquaman
16. Superman
17. Batman and Robin
18. Stormwatch
19. The Flash
20. OMAC
21. Resurrection Man

What Difference Does It Make? (2.5 stars):

22. I, Vampire
23. Batwing
24. Nightwing
25. Green Lantern Corps
26. Green Lantern
27. Green Arrow
28. Captain Atom
29. Grifter
30. Blackhawks

William, It Was Really Nothing (2 stars):

31. Justice League
32. Justice League International
33. The Savage Hawkman
34. Legion Lost
35. Green Lantern: New Guardians
36. Blue Beetle
37. Supergirl
38. Superboy
39. DC Universe Presents: Deadman
40. Voodoo
41. Legion of Super-Heroes
42. Teen Titans

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore
(1.5 stars):

43. Suicide Squad
44. Mister Terrific
45. Batman: The Dark Knight
46. Detective Comics
47. The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men
48. Red Hood and the Outlaws
49. Catwoman

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now (1 star):

50. Red Lanterns
51. Hawk and Dove
52. Batgirl


MarkAndrew said...


1. Wonder Woman (A couple bonus points for being darn near a complete reinvention, and also horse punching.)
2. Batman
3. Superboy
4. Static Shock
5. Justice League Dark
6. Action Comics
7. Animal Man (But # 2 is my favorite of any single relaunch issue I've read so far.)
8. Batwoman (Will probably be my favorite in trade.)
9. All Star Western (Weird, 'cause I didn't like Jonah Hex.)
10. Blue Beetle
11. The Flash
12. Justice League (It's basically a team-up book!)
13. Green Arrow
14. Stormwatch
15. Green Lantern
16. Demon Knights
17. Justice League International
18. Birds of Prey
19. OMAC
20. Teen Titans
21. Supergirl
22. Green Lantern: New Guardians
23. Mister Terrific
24. Catwoman
25. Suicide Squad
26. Red Hood and the Outlaws
(I didn't hate any of these. I'll just group 'em together.)
27. Resurrection Man
28. Batgirl
29. Men of War
30. I, Vampire
31. The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men
32. Swamp Thing (Redeemed by five good pages at the end. I don't get what people see in this.)
33. Blackhawks
34. DC Universe Presents: Deadman
(Lots of set-up. This might read really well in trade...)
35. Aquaman
(Surprised to see it so high on your list)
36. Hawk and Dove
37. Batwing
38. Grifter
39. Captain Atom
40. Superman
41. Legion Lost
42. The Savage Hawkman (I had absolutely no emotional reaction to 38, 39, 40 or 42 at all. They were placed in random order. Legion Lost is in their because how much I liked it and how much I hated it totalled up to "completely blase")
43. Voodoo
44. Red Lanterns (Bonus points for completely unworkable premise.)
45. Detective Comics
46. Green Lantern Corps
47. Deathstroke
48. Legion of Super-Heroes

Bill Reed said...

Aquaman's only that high due to process of elimination. It was much better than your usual Geoff Johns comic, though I still had problems with it. Specifically, everyone in the DCU thinking Aquaman is lame, which would not be true from a verisimilitude perspective. Aquaman would be the Brad Pitt of the DCU.