Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Friday, August 24, 2007

Happy Birthday, Steve Guttenberg!

Still rocking at 49 years young, I'm sure. One day, I'll write that USA Network series just for you. You'll see.

Meanwhile, I can't wait for Three Men and a Middle-Aged Lady.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

I just had an out-of-personality experience.

'Twas like I was spying on my own brain, and recalling my emotions as if they belonged to someone else. Strange.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Comics genius Mike Wieringo has died.

Rest in peace, Ringo. You were great.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Blog About Nothing

I've decided this is a "blog about nothing," much like Seinfeld was a "show about nothing." Except this blog is rarely funny, and therefore more realistic.

I'm not really sure why I keep this site up, even. I did write some good posts back in the day. That was two years ago. You should go read them. Heh.

Otherwise, catch me at Comics Should Be Good every day.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Bill War Journal 8/10/07

It's been a harrowing week-and-a-half, but my standoff with Wal-Mart has come to an end. They shall provide me with Hot Fuzz in widescreen and I get to keep the bonus disc.

Good thing it didn't come to a hunger strike.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Bill's Favorite Words

I've probably done a post like this before. Oh well.

1. Loaf
2. Haberdashery
3. Portcullis
4. Zeppelin
5. Sandwich

Friday, July 27, 2007

Introducing: My new Fantasy Adventure series of novels.

Here's a preview of the titles in the semi-autobiographical seven-book series:

Bill Reed and the Shatner's Kidney Stone

Bill Reed and the Chamberpot of Secretions

Bill Reed and the Pensioner of Alzheimer's

Bill Reed and the Giblets of Filler

Bill Reed and the Opera of the Phantom

Bill Reed and the Half-Black Artist Formerly Known as Prince

Bill Reed and the Dastardly Hellos


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

She cannot doooo... the Smurrrrrrf.

This blog is over three years old. Surprisingly. Yes. And I've done next-to-nothing with it. Haha.

Also, I have fallen completely in love with Rilo Kiley's song "The Frug." And not just because of the Robocop reference.

That is all. Continue your fulfilling lives.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Greatest Scam Perpetuated on Mankind

Bottled water.

Followed by the Electoral College.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

My Favorite Ducks

Not really in order of preference, but almost. Google and/or Wiki the ones you're not familiar with.

1. Darkwing Duck
2. Howard the Duck
3. Scrooge McDuck
4. Destroyer Duck
5. Count Duckula
6. Daffy Duck/Duck Dodgers
7. Plucky Duck
8. The Mighty Ducks (from the animated series)
9. Duckman
10. Donald Duck
11. Launchpad McQuack
12. Gizmoduck
13. NegaDuck
14. Moby Duck
15. The Aflac Duck
16. Baby Huey
17. Psyduck
18. Huey
19. Dewey
20. Louie

Purposefully left off the list: Mallard Fillmore.

Did I miss any good ones?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The awesomest thing on the internets

Master Chief vs. Samus vs. the Covenant. This is maybe the coolest thing I've seen in a long time. Holy crap. I mean it. Jeezum crow. The dude who did this is a genius. Read the tags for some more info.

Watch it now. And don't blink or you'll miss something mind-blowingly awesome. And watch it till the end. Especially after the credits.

Friday, April 13, 2007

The Greatest Movie of All Time?

I'm supposed to be writing a paper, but I've decided to watch a telecast of Robocop 3 instead. Geez, I haven't seen this in years and years-- maybe since it first hit TV. I used to love Robocop. Well, I still do, I just never act upon it. (Now I realize I have to somehow track down every issue of the Marvel Comics Robocop series. Damn.)

The cast is ridiculous. EVERYBODY is in this movie. Mako. Jill Hennessy. Stephen Root. Bradley Whitford. Rip Torn. CCH Pounder. The commandant from Malcolm in the Middle. The obligatory Kurtwood Smith archive footage. Hot damn. (No Peter Weller in this one, though. Bah.)

It's got jetpacks, robot ninjas, dirty cops, shootouts... it's got Dark Knight Returns-esque (after all, Frank Miller did co-write the thing, apparently) groups of corporate flunkies (the bad cops, and some thugs) versus a resistance movement (underground shmoes and disillusioned Detroit cops looking to do the right thing despite the consequences). There's a scene where Robocop punches through the windshield of a pimpmobile he's driving to shoot at a SWAT van of dirty cops. Did I mention the pimpmobile is on fire? And he's still coming at them? When the people of the city finally band together against OCP, there's even an old lady firing an automatic weapon! It's got Robocop flying in on a jetpack and blowing stuff up! Dear God, it's uncanny.

And it's got the return of the ED-209. Oh hell yeah. (Actually, I think they cut out the only ED-209 scene in the movie. Damn network television.)

So one would think it's the greatest movie ever, right? Well, no. Far from it. In fact, it's bloody awful. The acting, the cinematography, the production values... a lot of it is pretty subpar. I mean, it's got the best special effects ever, for 1984. Too bad it came out in 1993.

However, I still like it. I mean, it's hilarious. If anything, its overall quality is enhanced by its craptitude. It's so big and crazy, but the scope couldn't compete with the budget. Still-- dammit, they tried so hard. It's about time they were recognized for the effort. And it's a hell of an effort. Then again, what else would one expect from Frank Miller (Lord knows how badly they butchered his script--in fact, I don't even think he actually worked on this movie, but, whatever) and director Fred Dekker, the guy who helmed The Monster Squad. Yes, the one with "Wolfman's got nards!"

The film, if I dare call it that, is really just an over-the-top B-movie. I am perfectly okay with that. I love this kind of movie. Hell, I want to know why they haven't made a new Robocop movie! (Researching this, I discovered an animated series and a TV mini I hadn't heard about. Now, the original TV show, I knew, but... a mini-series made in 2000? I must find this. And something else called Robocop: Alpha Commando? What the hell are these things? Why did no one tell me about them?) If I ever find myself with any power at all in Hollywood... I'm bringing Robocop back. Right after I adapt Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency to the big screen.

Robocop 3 absolutely bombed at the box office. Box Office Mojo tells me it only made ten million in the theater. Compared to the first two, that's abysmal. I can see why it performed as such. Regardless, it now lives forever in Bill's Hall of Awesomeness, where many obscure, forgotten, or disrespected things can proudly exist. At least one person thinks they're cool, even if it's just me.

For more things in the Hall of Awesomeness, check out my (here comes the plug, do do doo doo) 365 Reasons to Love Comics column at Comics Should Be Good.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Something new from Bill every day.

The 365 Reasons to Love Comics Archive at Comics Should Be Good. And check out the main page every day for a new Reason to love my favorite arts medium!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I'm on Comicspace now. You'll want to be my friend. Like the cool kids.

Also, I'm still doing the Comics Should Be Good thing. Seventeen days in and haven't missed yet! This is probably a record in terms of me doing stuff.

Soon I will control all of the internet superthoroughfare! MWAHAHAH

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

World's best redundant word


\Spunge\ (sp[u^]nj), n. A sponge. [Obs.]

Friday, January 05, 2007


That's right. I dispatched your assassins. Ha. And I am up to things. Things and nefarious plans. Moohoohahahahahaha

Anyway, so, like, I've started a short-but-sweet daily column over at Comics Should Be Good entitled "365 Reasons to Love Comics." Look for it every day ending with Y.

Otherwise, I'm not doing much, excepting sitting around and watching MASH on DVD.