Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Everything I've seen in the last four months in one sentence or less

...and on ZMF's "Optional/Not Optional" scale:

9 Songs: Not a movie, more like pornography spliced with concert footage. Optional.

30 Rock season 3: Just about as good as the first two seasons. Not optional.

Adventureland: It's about a socially inept writing major and the emotionally destructive girl who makes or breaks him-- yeah, this one hit really, really close to home, but it was damn good. Not optional.

Andy Richter Controls the Universe: As funny as I remember it being-- maybe funnier. Not optional.

Barton Fink:
Falls somewhere in the middle of the Great Coens Ratings List. Optional.

Black Sheep:
You'd think a movie about man-eating sheep that turn people into were-sheep would be, you know, better. Optional.

Brick:
A cool high school film noir with dialogue and atmosphere that takes a bit of getting used to; worth it. Not optional.

Californication season 2:
The definition of guilty pleasure. Optional, for that reason, but I like it.

Celebrity:
Kenneth Branagh tries his best Woody Allen impression in a Woody Allen movie, Woody Allen Woody Allen. Optional.

Cowboy Bebop: The Movie:
Like a really good episode of the show, but not as great as the show itself. Optional, I guess? Make up your own damn mind.

Crank 2: High Voltage:
The batshittest movie ever put to celluloid, and one of my favorite films of the year. Not optional.

Dexter season 3:
Not as good as the first two, by a lot. Optional.

Drag Me to Hell:
Middlin' Sam Raimi, not a patch on Evil Dead 2. Optional.

Good Night, and Good Luck:
A great portrayal of the social responsibility of journalism, which is just what we need right now. Not optional.

Gran Torino:
Clint Eastwood at his scowliest, in a movie that could be about my dad. Optional, though.

I Love You, Man: Way funnier than I thought it'd be, Bro Montana. Not optional if you like humorous things and/or Lou Ferrigno.

IT Crowd season 3:
Very nearly a funny sitcom. Optional.

Once:
The songs are great, but everything else is sort of there. Optional. Soundtrack? Not optional.

Primer:
This must be how people who hate time travel stories feel all the time; this movie is smarter than me. Not optional.

The Royal Tenenbaums:
Wes Anderson makes films like Kurt Vonnegut writes books (don't ask me to explain that; I can't). Not optional.

Star Trek (2009):
All spectacle, no substance; too much Lucas, not enough Roddenberry. Optional.

Stupid Teenagers Must Die!:
Stupid, should die. Optional.

Visioneers:
Galifianakis can do better, and has; dull to the point of annoyance and forgettable. Optional.

Watchmen:
Sort of like Watchmen, only with more fight scenes, violence, sex, cursing, and slow motion; read the book, for Chrissakes. Optional.

Zombieland:
(That's right, I went to a theater!) It's no Shaun of the Dead, but it's better than 98% of those other tired, dead-eyed zombie pictures. Not optional if your taste is remotely similar to mine.

3 comments:

Nitz the Bloody said...

I was torn about I Love You, Man, since on the plus side it has Jason Segel, but on the downside, we see Jason Segel every week in How I Met Your Mother, which does bromantic comedy better than pretty much everything else. I'll have to reassess that, though..

Bill Reed said...

Despite Neil Patrick Harris and Alyson Hannigan being two of the awesomest people on earth, I've yet to watch any of that show.

Welcome to my audience of three and a half people. (You're not the half.)

Nitz the Bloody said...

Drop whatever you're doing, even if you're performing open heart surgery on another human being, and get to it! It's hilarious!