Friday, January 28, 2005

Hodgerton McPodgery

"Oh Bill," say the ladies (and some of the more flamboyant chaps), "you're so zany and irreverent!" Ahh, how true you are, ladies. But you missed the part where I'm socially relevant and just damn incredibly sexy. ...maybe not that last one, but I'm sure I can improve with copious amounts of plastic surgery. Yes. Copious amounts. I bet you're excited now.
Anyhoo, this episode of our irregularly-scheduled program is, as the name implies, both wacky and a mix of miscellany. We'll have the usual raves, reviews, and ramblings and all that other swill I keep feeding my imaginary audience. You know, the usual.

Starting off, I'll mention that I just purchased the film Shaun of the Dead, though I purchased it used, and I haven't put it in the machine yet, so God knows if it actually works. I rented this a few weeks back and thought it was just like me: zany, irreverent, and oh-so damn incredibly sexy, or would be with copious amounts of plastic surgery. And this makes sense, as it is a romantic zombie comedy that is written by, directed by, and starring some comics/movies/video game geeks who say "bollocks" a lot. I'm sure I'd get along great with these chaps. And yes, it's bloody (and bloody great) film. You won't even mind the gore and strong language because it's all in good fun and everyone's got a British accent. I give it a 9/10. It makes an excellent addition to my growing collection of horror comedies. It's right up there with the Evil Deads and Bubba Ho-Tep and the like. (By the by: Best line in the film? This one's a toughie, but I'll give it to "Oh, he's got an arm off!")

Mental note: Buy the Sky Captain DVD.

It's also a good time to read comics. Picked up nine books from the shop the other day, considering I'd been MIA since November or so. I would've/could've/should've bought more, but I don't want to bankrupt m'self. Also didn't even notice till I'd left that AXM #7 hadn't appeared in my pull box. Not sure if I actually care yet, as I wasn't in love with the title.
To be a bit different this time, I've decided to relate the comics I've read to different colors, from which you'll attempt to discern some type of meaning. Plus maybe I'll be nice and throw in a few words of actual content. Go!

Fantastic Four #521-522: Aquamarine. 7/10. (The book's back on track, but a little too late for that.)
Gotham Central #26-27: Periwinkle. 9/10. (Spectacular set of issues, here. Also, note the improved paper stock that accompanies #27. Will this be soon joined by an increased price?)
Human Target #17-18: Burnt sienna. 7/10 & 9/10, respectively. (It's a shame this has been cancelled. I love it. Note the guest-art by Seaguy's (and Barbelith's) Cameron Stewart in #17. Also, #18 is the best issue since, oh, somewhere around #9 or 11.)
JLA Classified #2-3: Day-glo orange with neon pink polka dots. 9/10. (This is pure comics magic, baby! Joycore pop, and a bunch of other fun buzz words. Super-hero fantastico!)
We3 #3: The color of heartbreak! Of rain! Of tears! Of sorrow and joy and hope and misery and life! Life itself, baby! ...so I guess that's battleship gray, or cadet blue, or off-white or something. Beats me. We3 is easily the best comic I've read since Seaguy though, which is fitting, as the same guy wrote them. We3 is what comics are all about, kids. 9.2365/10.

You'll notice I've never given anything a 10/10 in a review yet. I'm saving that for the perfectest thing in the world, and I haven't found it yet. A 10 is perfect, and I don't want to throw out too many perfect grades. Hell, Flex Mentallo's my favorite comic ever, and sure, I'll give it a 10, but I'd be tempted to give it a 9. I think Watchmen deserves a 10 as well. And a good six or seven episodes of Buffy. Not sure if I've ever seen a 10 movie, though. Maybe one day.

Monk's on tonight. Give it a watch. Sure, Sharona's gone, but the new girl... Natalie, or whatever, played by Traylor Howard from Two Guys and a Girl, my officially favorite sitcom (MASH is not a sitcom, dammit!), is the new assitant, and I'm interested to see where it's going to go. It probably won't be the same... maybe it shouldn't be.

Celebrity of the Moment (#1): A new feature here at Lithium Age, which may not continue from this installment, but, what the hell... LeVar Burton, ladies and gentlemen. The guy from stuff like Star Trek and Reading Rainbow, and, yes, Roots, where he got whipped, and stuff. If I ever meet the fellow I'll have to apologize. He won't understand why, but I will. So many whipping jokes... but it's all in good fun. So thanks, LeVar. You made me read! You wore that cool visor-thingy! And you got whipped. Kunta Kinte!

I bet you Bill fanboys and fangirls will be able to predict who future CotMs will be. So we'll see if you're right! You probably will be. I'm quite predictable. Ahh, well. Too bad.

Until next time, you groovy cats and kittens. Over and oot.

2 comments:

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Hoodia said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)