Monday, January 02, 2006

The 2005 Year-in-Review Revue

I’d like to say that year went by fast, but frankly I lost track of it anyway. January, you say? I didn’t notice. I’ve been too busy watching my Wonderfalls DVDs which all you gits should have purchased and watched and loved by now. It’s the most brilliant cancelled show in years.

So, did this year suck? A bit. I think. From what I can remember. Good year for storms. And pirates. And yeah, there were a few good comics which will be covered over on Comics Should Be Good over the next week or so. Check those out. My opinions are the best. Naturally.

I’m speaking in very short sentences today. Phrases, mostly. Defying the rules of grammar? Yes. Screw grammar. I am a writer, and hence I can invent my own grammar. Other poor schmucks have to abide by the rules. Poor bastards.

(Is my surliness coming across as comedic or more assholish? I’m trying to perfect my asshole comedy.)

Anyway, 2005. Let’s all just agree that it sucked now and move on. But then, what about those gleaming bright spots throughout the craptacularity (it’s a word now, dammit. Yes, I could’ve just said ‘craptacle’ but there’s no going back now) of the past 26 fortnights? They deserve coverage too. So I’ll talk about, like, pop culture. Because, y’know, reality? I’m not a big fan. I try not to pay attention to it. It hates me enough as it is.

Best Movie: There were a few contenders for this. Naturally, there are the nerd picks, which include Batman Begins, as well as the movie I eventually chose as my favorite. But then, there was Sin City, which had surprising mainstream appeal (especially for a black and white comic adaptation that may be the most violent movie ever). Another good one was The 40 Year Old Virgin, the funniest movie I’ve seen in years. However, these cannot surpass the glory that was Serenity. We nerds stick with our own. Action! Comedy! Romance! Fist-pumping awesomeness! How could I ever doubt Joss Whedon? I mean, I was no big fan of Firefly, but the movie made a believer out of me and it totally kicked Star Wars’s ass. Yes, Revenge of the Spliff sucked, though not as much as War of the Worlds.

Side note: This year, I hit a record for most times I ended up watching stuff in the theater for full price. Damn. I hate spending money.

Best TV Show: Now, it was not Lost. You Lost nerds can skip to the next part now, and the truly righteous will keep reading.

Still with us? Good. Okay, this year I officially became addicted to medical dramas. House! Grey’s Anatomy! ER reruns on TNT every morning! I know. Dreadful, isn’t it? And then, well, there was the return of Family Guy. And Arrested Development remained the world’s smartest comedy. So what did I end up going with?

Boston Legal. Yes, I still shamelessly love this show (Canada episode? Best episode ever.) I’m going to cheat, however, and declare it a tie. The co-winner? House. I mean, I never thought a cohabitation domicile could carry a doctor show either, but it did.

Edit: Never mind. Screw it. I'm giving it to Arrested Development anyway. Bwahaha.

Best Book: What the hell’s a book?

I’d do an Actor/Director/Writer thing, but I’m lazy. So, screw it. Hee hee.

P.S. I’ve become addicted to this Kingdom of Loathing game. Yes, I’m the last one to find out about it. But it’s fun. Try it out if you haven’t already. It’s a good game for nerds and dorks. Like yourselves, lowly peasants, for I am your Nerd King.

Of course, I’ve only just now become addicted to the Grand Theft Auto games (except San Andreas which refuses to work on my Xbox, the bastard), but I already know I’m the last person on Earth to start playing that. Bah.

Go buy Wonderfalls now. I command thee.


You are Wash. Not only are you a great pilot, you
are also the joker of the group. Your devotion
to your wife is admirable, though you sometimes
feel insecure. Thank god you shaved off your

Which Firefly character are you?
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We all saw this coming.